#52

[tank_rockarms]

((Max decided that he would be noble and let other people get the antidote and he would die doing the things he loved.))

[PRIVATE LEVEL 0]
THINGS I HAVE TO DO:

CALL MOM - DID IT, WORST HOUR OF MY LIFE
BENCH PRESS 1,500 POUNDS - I NEED SOMEBODY TO SPOT ME FOR THIS, SOMEBODY BEEFY
PUNCH HAWKE
BLOW SOMETHING UP - I NEED SOMETHING TO BLOW UP (I HAVE A TANK)
HAVE SEX
[END PRIVATE LEVEL 0]

1. I NEED SOMEBODY TO SPOT ME - KNUCKLES, WERESONIC, GANONDORF???

2. IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU NEED BLOWN UP TELL ME, I WILL DO IT.

3. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. I NEED A GIRL TO HAVE SEX WITH. DOES ANYBODY WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? GIRLS, NOT GUYS.

Comments

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

No, it'll be okay you just... go back to school and I'll... uh... it don't matter what I do, you just go back to school and, uh, don't die. Or die if you're dying, I don't know...

Uh... it was nice knowin' you and all.

Thanks for the 'fridge.

[rulebywisdom.livejournal.com]

I'm going to get you an antidote.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Only if you get one for everybody am I gonna take it. My mom's taken care of if I die, and I'm older than a lot of the kids at the school; it ain't fair that I live and some of them die.

Give it to somebody who still ain't had a chance to live.

[rulebywisdom.livejournal.com]

...I'm going to get you some pants.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

What, naw, I don't need pants, I already got those.

::Max points to a pair of crumpled up pants in a corner of the room, next to his crumpled up tank top::

::An odd look crosses his face::

::Very slowly, a hand moves down to cover his unmentionables::

[rulebywisdom.livejournal.com]

...Thank you.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Yeah well. You should get outta here and go back to the school and get some antidote or somethin'.

I'm gonna. Put some pants on and figure out where to get a girl in the next hour.

[rulebywisdom.livejournal.com]

[Zelda swallows hard, nods and gets the heck OUTTA THERE.]

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

::Oh crap oh crap oh crap where am I going to get a lady now?::

::Well I wonder::

::Maybe::

::It's worth a shot::

::If anybody would know, maybe he would::

::Max hurriedly goes over to his discarded pantaloons and retrieves his cellular teleradiophone from a pocket (and also a protein bar, he was starving and he dialed a phone number::

::RING RING RING::

::RING RING RING::

[raced_god]

[And LO. An answer. Mr. Captain Falcon seems incredibly distracted by something and there may or may not be two voices in the background.]

...Hello?

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Listen, I ain't got enough time to explain, so just hear me out.

I need a girl. I need a girl now.

To have sex with.

Do you know any girls. I can have sex with. In the next... hour.

[raced_god]

[Silence. But you can kind of hear someone in the background asking "Who is that, what are they saying is that one of your friends?"]

Not any that...would do it for free.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well.

::there is a tiny pause::

Yeah sure, fine. I've been in the army. I know how this works.

[raced_god]

I don't...have any numbers...off the top of my head, I would have to...look them up...real quick.

[Whoever is in the background seems really super interested in this phone conversation.]

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Okay, if you can get 'em real quick that's okay.

Are you busy or somethin'? It sounds like you're at someplace loud.

[raced_god]

Okay. Hang on a second.

[There is the sound of Falcon perhaps getting up and trying to go somewhere else while that very inquisitive voice continues inquiring.]

No, not...terribly busy. Let me just look through some numbers...

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Okay, thanks.

...

So who is that in the background? She sounds bossy.

[raced_god]

Oh uh.

That is...that would be my mother.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Oh hell, I'm askin' you for prostitutes' phone numbers while your mom's in the room?

Shit. Damn.

Uh. Please tell her hello for me.

[raced_god]

Yes. But that's okay, because this is apparently an emergency.

[Falcon's voice becomes a little muffled because he is turning away from the phone.]

Max says hello.

[And he's back!]

Do you have something to write with?

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Uhhhhhhhhh...

::THE HOTEL NOTEPAD AND PEN ARE ON A DESK, IT IS A MIRACLE::

Yes. Yes I do.

[raced_god]

[And so, Falcon dictates several numbers belonging to reputable women of ill-repute.]

Anything else I can do for you?

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

No, that's all.

::there is an awkward pause::

Thank you. It was an honor to serve with you, sir.