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Christ's Mass Cards
Nov. 20th, 2014 02:15 pmI love them, you love them, we all love getting Christmas cards where I draw things YOU ASK FOR in them POORLY with an UNERASEABLE INK PEN.
Comments are screened. Please give me these informations:
Name:
Address:
Drawing Requests:
Other Requests: (you don't celebrate Christmas but want an Eid/Hanukkah/Festivus card instead, that sort of thing)
So for example, a filled out version would look like this:
Name: Beef Burlington
Address: 123 Magical Girl Road
Pretendytown, MA 12345
USA
Drawing Requests: Several biceps
Other Requests: See above.
OKAY WOW LET'S DO THIS
Comments are screened. Please give me these informations:
Name:
Address:
Drawing Requests:
Other Requests: (you don't celebrate Christmas but want an Eid/Hanukkah/Festivus card instead, that sort of thing)
So for example, a filled out version would look like this:
Name: Beef Burlington
Address: 123 Magical Girl Road
Pretendytown, MA 12345
USA
Drawing Requests: Several biceps
Other Requests: See above.
OKAY WOW LET'S DO THIS
Card Exchange
Nov. 27th, 2013 11:14 pmI do one of these every year. So let's get to it.
In the couple of days between me finishing up the semester and me going home, I usually send out Christmas cards. So, they tend to arrive for people in the US like a week before the 25th.
I buy the cheapest, ugliest cards I can find. And I send those. Because even ugly cards need a home. And then I make them extra... beautiful... by doodling things in them for people who ask. Consider it like getting an MS Paint drawn by hand. With a pen. In one color.
So this is what I need from you, dear reader, if you want a card from me.
Name:
Address:
Doodle Request:
Other Request:
Other Request is for things like "please scratch out 'Christmas' and write 'Festivus' instead" or something, if you'd rather not get a Christmas card because you don't celebrate the holiday. I will do my best to accommodate any requests as best as I can.
So, for example -
Name: Bob Bobson
Address: 123 Main Street
Hometown, IL 61234
Doodle Request: A carrot
Other Request: None
Comments are screened.
In the couple of days between me finishing up the semester and me going home, I usually send out Christmas cards. So, they tend to arrive for people in the US like a week before the 25th.
I buy the cheapest, ugliest cards I can find. And I send those. Because even ugly cards need a home. And then I make them extra... beautiful... by doodling things in them for people who ask. Consider it like getting an MS Paint drawn by hand. With a pen. In one color.
So this is what I need from you, dear reader, if you want a card from me.
Name:
Address:
Doodle Request:
Other Request:
Other Request is for things like "please scratch out 'Christmas' and write 'Festivus' instead" or something, if you'd rather not get a Christmas card because you don't celebrate the holiday. I will do my best to accommodate any requests as best as I can.
So, for example -
Name: Bob Bobson
Address: 123 Main Street
Hometown, IL 61234
Doodle Request: A carrot
Other Request: None
Comments are screened.
A PRIVATE MISSIVE
Aug. 15th, 2011 10:00 am[Private Level 2 to Bros and Bradettes who Max knows are friends with Mac IF YOU THINK THAT MEANS YOU THEN THAT PROBABLY MEANS YOU - Max had to beg someone to help him with this; Raiden or Brock or Falcon or Lash or someone who is better with computers than Max was involved, so really 98% of the school could have stepped in at this point.]
Hey, Mac is going for the championship belt in his boxing league on [DATE GOES HERE] and I'm goin' no matter what.
I bought out an entire row of seats.I get paid for bein' a general and a teacher it's great It's gonna look pretty silly if I'm the only one in the row. If you wanna come along, just tell me. I've got Orange Star transport helicopters. I can take up to an entire platoon's worth of guys along.
And if you can't afford to pay me back for the ticket, don't worry about it.
[/end private missive]
Hey, Mac is going for the championship belt in his boxing league on [DATE GOES HERE] and I'm goin' no matter what.
I bought out an entire row of seats.
And if you can't afford to pay me back for the ticket, don't worry about it.
[/end private missive]
A TRANSFIGURATION
Jun. 3rd, 2011 03:48 pmDearest Smashing Academics:
Maximilian Justice Powers is no longer a student at this school.
He is now the Smash Fundamentals instructor and assistants footballs coach. And, knowing Max, still totally considering himself in charge of everything weight room related. Free weight training on the side for all.
He will mold you all into his own image.
Crdlly yrs,
Chris
Now I need an icon of him in a track suit with a whistle
Maximilian Justice Powers is no longer a student at this school.
He is now the Smash Fundamentals instructor and assistants footballs coach. And, knowing Max, still totally considering himself in charge of everything weight room related. Free weight training on the side for all.
He will mold you all into his own image.
Crdlly yrs,
Chris
#63 - SORRY JEFF, STEALIN' YOUR COMPUTER
May. 24th, 2011 05:50 pmI am usding my romates' comnpyuter
the keybgoardf is too smallk qwerojiasdfl;kjhatea;ljkasdfoiugljk; i nede a specviual jkeybvoared
wgho do i talk to abuit getingf a nbew coimputer
i brojke myu oldf one by accidfebnt
the keybgoardf is too smallk qwerojiasdfl;kjhatea;ljkasdfoiugljk; i nede a specviual jkeybvoared
wgho do i talk to abuit getingf a nbew coimputer
i brojke myu oldf one by accidfebnt
My name's Maximilian Justice Powers, and I'm comin' clean. Don't think anybody here even knows my full name.
My dad died when I was 12 in a border skirmish with Blue Moon. My mom washed laundry for a living to support me and her. I was a crummy kid after my dad died, and I never did what my mom told me to do. I got into the wrong sorta people at school. I'm sorry I did that now, and I don't think I ever told her after I grew up. Army straightened me out when I was 16.
When I was 15 I used anabolic steroids for about a year, maybe a year and a half. I was a big, angry kid, they made me bigger and angrier. When I got into the army I had to get clean. Been clean ever since. But I always tell people I'm all natural. I am. But I wasn't always.
Killed three men when I was 17. I learned to stop countin' after that. But I'm probably directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of army men. I'll tell you it was for a good cause, that it was done in the defense of the people of Macroland and Omegaland. But I ain't gonna lie and tell you I ain't killed before. 'Cause I have.
My best friend Grit and I were in love with the same woman, Nell. She's now my boss. And she's married to my best friend. When she asked me if I was okay with her marryin' my best friend I lied and told her I was. I wasn't. When Grit asked me to be his best man I said I was happy for him. I wasn't. I sat there and I cried as I hugged him and told him I was happy for him when I wasn't. I think he knew, though. We both pretended it we both didn't know, though. Sometimes its hard to go back home and see them together.
One time for a week I was Green's Blastoise and another time for a week I was Bulba. If at some time you ever thought one of them was actin' weird for a week, it was probably 'cause we'd switched bodies. I guess that happens a lot here. But I didn't tell nobody when it happened to me.
If I ever told you somethin' that wasn't true, I'm sorry. If you want to ask me somethin' about me, now's your chance.
[Private level 1 to Green]
We need to talk. You know why.
[/Private to Green]
My dad died when I was 12 in a border skirmish with Blue Moon. My mom washed laundry for a living to support me and her. I was a crummy kid after my dad died, and I never did what my mom told me to do. I got into the wrong sorta people at school. I'm sorry I did that now, and I don't think I ever told her after I grew up. Army straightened me out when I was 16.
When I was 15 I used anabolic steroids for about a year, maybe a year and a half. I was a big, angry kid, they made me bigger and angrier. When I got into the army I had to get clean. Been clean ever since. But I always tell people I'm all natural. I am. But I wasn't always.
Killed three men when I was 17. I learned to stop countin' after that. But I'm probably directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of army men. I'll tell you it was for a good cause, that it was done in the defense of the people of Macroland and Omegaland. But I ain't gonna lie and tell you I ain't killed before. 'Cause I have.
My best friend Grit and I were in love with the same woman, Nell. She's now my boss. And she's married to my best friend. When she asked me if I was okay with her marryin' my best friend I lied and told her I was. I wasn't. When Grit asked me to be his best man I said I was happy for him. I wasn't. I sat there and I cried as I hugged him and told him I was happy for him when I wasn't. I think he knew, though. We both pretended it we both didn't know, though. Sometimes its hard to go back home and see them together.
One time for a week I was Green's Blastoise and another time for a week I was Bulba. If at some time you ever thought one of them was actin' weird for a week, it was probably 'cause we'd switched bodies. I guess that happens a lot here. But I didn't tell nobody when it happened to me.
If I ever told you somethin' that wasn't true, I'm sorry. If you want to ask me somethin' about me, now's your chance.
[Private level 1 to Green]
We need to talk. You know why.
[/Private to Green]
Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a valiant blue knight who rode atop a steed made out of orange iron. He was a mighty knight, and had slain many in battle.
But one day, an evil imp by the name of VINCENT. V. VINESON came out of the wooded forest glen and did several thousand dollars worth of damage to the muscular knight's equipage.
The brave knight took off after this vile svartálfar and soundly beat him to within an inch of his life, and also sprayed numerous effusions from his stomach upon the foul defiler of his sweet ride, because of the contemptible reprobate's noxious particulate matter.
Several days later, it came to the mind of the knight exactly who this wretched daemon might have been, and so, dear reader, he went to confront him.
Max knocked on Vinnie's door.
But one day, an evil imp by the name of VINCENT. V. VINESON came out of the wooded forest glen and did several thousand dollars worth of damage to the muscular knight's equipage.
The brave knight took off after this vile svartálfar and soundly beat him to within an inch of his life, and also sprayed numerous effusions from his stomach upon the foul defiler of his sweet ride, because of the contemptible reprobate's noxious particulate matter.
Several days later, it came to the mind of the knight exactly who this wretched daemon might have been, and so, dear reader, he went to confront him.
Max knocked on Vinnie's door.
::Monday morning, Max woke up as usual at 4:45am so he could work out from 5am-7am.::
::But he woke up realizing three things. The first was that he hated Hawke and always had, except for the last ten days. The second was that he missed having Hawke as a friend. The third was that Lash was back to confusing Max to no end and he was back to having no idea what was going on with her.::
::This was strange and bizarre and confusing.::
::But at least Rachel and Jake were back to being Rachel and Jake::
[Private Level 1 to Hawke]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
[Private Level 1 to Lash]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
[Private Level 1 to Jake]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
[Private Level 1 to Rachel]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
::But he woke up realizing three things. The first was that he hated Hawke and always had, except for the last ten days. The second was that he missed having Hawke as a friend. The third was that Lash was back to confusing Max to no end and he was back to having no idea what was going on with her.::
::This was strange and bizarre and confusing.::
::But at least Rachel and Jake were back to being Rachel and Jake::
[Private Level 1 to Hawke]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
[Private Level 1 to Lash]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
[Private Level 1 to Jake]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
[Private Level 1 to Rachel]
So, uh, do you remember anything from the last week?
[/Private]
["Private" Level 1 to Brock]
Listen I'm really sorry about the other day and ruinin' your shirt and breakin' down your door when you didn't answer the next morning.
Uh... Last year for Valentine's I fell in love with Crazy Hand so actually bein' in love with you was way more normal for me.
Weird things happen at this school on Valentine's
Anyway uh... if you're still embarrassed about havin' a sorta unfinished chest I can help with that if you want. I just... you know. Don't wanna have sex with you anymore.
[/end "Private" message to Brock]
["Private" Level 1 to Sasha]
I wanna go out with you more.
[/end "Private" message to Sasha]
Listen I'm really sorry about the other day and ruinin' your shirt and breakin' down your door when you didn't answer the next morning.
Uh... Last year for Valentine's I fell in love with Crazy Hand so actually bein' in love with you was way more normal for me.
Weird things happen at this school on Valentine's
Anyway uh... if you're still embarrassed about havin' a sorta unfinished chest I can help with that if you want. I just... you know. Don't wanna have sex with you anymore.
[/end "Private" message to Brock]
["Private" Level 1 to Sasha]
I wanna go out with you more.
[/end "Private" message to Sasha]
["Private" Level 1 to Green]
The other day Slowpoke's eyes glowed all rainbow colors and he made another pokemon guy glow purple and, like, pass out. What the heck did he do?
[/end Private to Green]
["Private" Level 1 to Sasha]
You want to do somethin' on Thursday like uh... do somethin' you want to do. With me? A movie or whatever. Or you can help me work out or, I don't know.
[/ end Private to Sasha]
::And then Max went to Char's room and knocked on the door.::
[Second "Private" Level 1 Message to Green]
I promised Bulba I wouldn't knock Char's block off. But Char got me angry and tried to set me on fire. So I punched him a few times. And he bit and burned my arm. Figured you'd want to know.
[/end Private to Green]
The other day Slowpoke's eyes glowed all rainbow colors and he made another pokemon guy glow purple and, like, pass out. What the heck did he do?
[/end Private to Green]
["Private" Level 1 to Sasha]
You want to do somethin' on Thursday like uh... do somethin' you want to do. With me? A movie or whatever. Or you can help me work out or, I don't know.
[/ end Private to Sasha]
::And then Max went to Char's room and knocked on the door.::
[Second "Private" Level 1 Message to Green]
I promised Bulba I wouldn't knock Char's block off. But Char got me angry and tried to set me on fire. So I punched him a few times. And he bit and burned my arm. Figured you'd want to know.
[/end Private to Green]
[Private Level 1 to Char]
Char, where the heck have you been, you missed a football practice and you were scheduled to weightlift this afternoon and you didn't show up. I went by your room but you weren't there.
You were on the schedule.
-Max
[/end "private" message to Char]
[Private Level 1 to Bulba]
Bulba, where the heck have you been, you missed a football practice and you were scheduled to weightlift yesterday and this afternoon and you didn't show up. I went by your room but you weren't there.
You were on the schedule.
-Max
[/end "private" message to Bulba]
Char, where the heck have you been, you missed a football practice and you were scheduled to weightlift this afternoon and you didn't show up. I went by your room but you weren't there.
You were on the schedule.
-Max
[/end "private" message to Char]
[Private Level 1 to Bulba]
Bulba, where the heck have you been, you missed a football practice and you were scheduled to weightlift yesterday and this afternoon and you didn't show up. I went by your room but you weren't there.
You were on the schedule.
-Max
[/end "private" message to Bulba]
#57 - Christmas Presents
Dec. 24th, 2010 01:46 amGifts inside for: Andy, Jake, Rachel, Lash, Maxwell, Bulba, Char, Nyx, Blastoise, Mac, Raiden, Knuckles, Green, Sasha, Vinnie, Sonnie, Other Red Team Members & Red, Brock, Captain Falcon, Footballs Team Members, and SECRET SANTA PIT
( Oh god why is Max so popular and also flush with cash and also friendly )
::ACTION???::
Dec. 20th, 2010 02:01 amMax has been watching Raikov for the past couple of days. As this is Max, it is amazingly obvious that he is hanging around. He doesn't know how to hide and, as a giant guy with blue hair, he sticks out like a sore thumb.
He's watching to make sure that Raikov doesn't shoot anymore pokemon, at Char's bequest.
At some point, Raikov is probably going to want to say something. Because it's clear that Tank Musclehead is around more than usual.
He's watching to make sure that Raikov doesn't shoot anymore pokemon, at Char's bequest.
At some point, Raikov is probably going to want to say something. Because it's clear that Tank Musclehead is around more than usual.
#56 - Max Has Great Penmanship
Dec. 16th, 2010 11:01 pm::Max has nothing to say about any of this that's worth saying.::
::However, outside of the weightroom he hung a sign up::
( SIGN )
::It is kindly suggested that football players and weight room goers add their names. Or you may get a visit from Max.::
::However, outside of the weightroom he hung a sign up::
( SIGN )
::It is kindly suggested that football players and weight room goers add their names. Or you may get a visit from Max.::
[Private Level 1 to Bulba]
Bulba what was Vinnie doin' in that fight. You don't do none of that stuff but the vines.
[/Private]
[Private level 1 to Char]
Char I don't remember much about last night what the heck did we do... All I know is you took me out for a drink and next thing I know I woke up with a headacheand there ain't any condoms left in my wallet
[/Private]
I ain't had a day that invigoratin' since... well... since the day I fought Captain Falcon. Though truth be told the day I fought Captain Falcon I didn't bounce him around like a paddleball so this probably tops that. Aparoid war, then. Man, that felt good. Wakes a guy up, lets him know he's alive, yeah?
Good match, Vinnie. Don't forget you owe me some pants. I'll show you with the big and tall store is.
Hey Metaknight, you gonna come down to the weight room like we talked about? Yeah? Alright, I'll see you down there, get you worked on a program, get you shredded.
Bulba what was Vinnie doin' in that fight. You don't do none of that stuff but the vines.
[/Private]
[Private level 1 to Char]
Char I don't remember much about last night what the heck did we do... All I know is you took me out for a drink and next thing I know I woke up with a headache
[/Private]
I ain't had a day that invigoratin' since... well... since the day I fought Captain Falcon. Though truth be told the day I fought Captain Falcon I didn't bounce him around like a paddleball so this probably tops that. Aparoid war, then. Man, that felt good. Wakes a guy up, lets him know he's alive, yeah?
Good match, Vinnie. Don't forget you owe me some pants. I'll show you with the big and tall store is.
Hey Metaknight, you gonna come down to the weight room like we talked about? Yeah? Alright, I'll see you down there, get you worked on a program, get you shredded.
#54 - Max you are gross
Nov. 1st, 2010 12:31 pmSo what was up with that weird creepy guy last night? He wouldn't leave me alone. I musta punched him like ten or twenty times before he stopped showing up. I mighta... blacked out a couple of times... anyway, whatever. This totally happened even though none of it has happened yet.
This place is weird.
ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANT: IT'S NOVEMBER FIRST. FOOTBALL TEAM, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN GIVING YOU AN ORDER. YOU HAVE TO STOP SHAVING. IT'S NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER. PUT YOUR RAZORS DOWN AND WALK AWAY. JUST WALK AWAY.
It's only 10am but I've already got my 5 o'clock shadow on.I usually have to shave three times a day
Any other guys who ain't on the football team are welcome to not shave along with us. We'll see who has the best beard at the end of the month. If you already got facial hair, grow more facial hair.
No cheatin' with science this year. I don't care if you can brew a beard in a bottle or make some sorta beard-ray or whatever, grow your beard the regular way. I'll know if you're cheatin'.
I still haven't made up my mind yet if I'm not going to wax this month, like I did last year.
This place is weird.
ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANT: IT'S NOVEMBER FIRST. FOOTBALL TEAM, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN GIVING YOU AN ORDER. YOU HAVE TO STOP SHAVING. IT'S NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER. PUT YOUR RAZORS DOWN AND WALK AWAY. JUST WALK AWAY.
It's only 10am but I've already got my 5 o'clock shadow on.
Any other guys who ain't on the football team are welcome to not shave along with us. We'll see who has the best beard at the end of the month. If you already got facial hair, grow more facial hair.
No cheatin' with science this year. I don't care if you can brew a beard in a bottle or make some sorta beard-ray or whatever, grow your beard the regular way. I'll know if you're cheatin'.
I still haven't made up my mind yet if I'm not going to wax this month, like I did last year.
::The next time Zelda goes to her apartment (she was sadly out when Max came by lugging this casually over his shoulder) she finds something sitting outside of her door::
( This thing )
::Attached is a note that says:
Sorry I blew up your other one for no real reason, and since you saw me naked and all when you were expectin' Metaknight I figured I should replace your minifridge and then I got you this one 'cause all of the other ones looked too small to be worth havin' anyway sorry about all that and thanks for your help
-Max::
Bulba, what've I told you about bein' naked in public? It's alright when you're a pokemon but it ain't alright when you're a human. I found a picture of you and a picture of Raiden and Hawke and a picture of a couple other guys. Is this some sorta nude art thing you're doin?
Knock it off.
And Raiden, you should know better. I'm disappointed in you, you're an adult. And the other guys who were there (don't remember who) there's little kids that go to this school, that just ain't right.
Knock it off.
Hawke, I don't even know what to say, this ain't like you at all. You're the last person I expected to see naked. I don't even know what to say other than I don't like it.
And they're terrible pictures, anyway.
[Private Level 1 to Raiden]
What's up with all those tattoos? I didn't know you had them.
[/Private???]
( This thing )
::Attached is a note that says:
Sorry I blew up your other one for no real reason, and since you saw me naked and all when you were expectin' Metaknight I figured I should replace your minifridge and then I got you this one 'cause all of the other ones looked too small to be worth havin' anyway sorry about all that and thanks for your help
-Max::
Bulba, what've I told you about bein' naked in public? It's alright when you're a pokemon but it ain't alright when you're a human. I found a picture of you and a picture of Raiden and Hawke and a picture of a couple other guys. Is this some sorta nude art thing you're doin?
Knock it off.
And Raiden, you should know better. I'm disappointed in you, you're an adult. And the other guys who were there (don't remember who) there's little kids that go to this school, that just ain't right.
Knock it off.
Hawke, I don't even know what to say, this ain't like you at all. You're the last person I expected to see naked. I don't even know what to say other than I don't like it.
And they're terrible pictures, anyway.
[Private Level 1 to Raiden]
What's up with all those tattoos? I didn't know you had them.
[/Private???]
