#20

[tank_rockarms]

SO GRIT CAME BACK FROM HIS HOUSE, 'cause he was visitin' for Christmas. It's good to have my main man Grit back. He got me a tank in a can for Christmas! Man, I can think of like a hundred ways I could use that. That's real thoughtful of him.

HE ALSO GAVE COLIN A KITTEN. It's pretty cute. But it's a girl kitten. What about manly men with manly men pets? Grit I thought you knew better'n that. Looks like I gotta teach you up about bein' manly again, Grit. Don't worry, you'll thank me when we're done when you're bench pressing twice your weight and flexin' out of your shirts on a regular basis. I will not let my heart be melted by that tiny, adorable ball of fluff I AM A MAN oh god please I want one too NO I AM A MAN I WANT A MANLY PET LIKE A WILD BOAR OR SEVERAL ROTTWEILERS or a tiny kitten NO I WANT A GOAT wait is that manly or not I WANT A GOAT THAT SHOOTS FIRE OUT OF IT'S EYES AND SPITS BULLETS or a kitten NO NO NO NO NO.

I GUESS I MIGHT COME OVER AND SEE YOUR KITTEN SOMETIME, COLIN SO IT CAN LICK MY FACE SO IT CAN FALL ASLEEP NESTLED ON MY MANLY CHEST 'CAUSE MAYBE YOU NEED SOME COMPANY.

OH YEAH I GUESS SOME PEOPLE ARE MAKING RESOLUTIONS. HERE'S MINE: I resolve to get at least another two inches on my arms and another five on my chest because I can't flex out of those shirts that Colin gave me and that's the most confoundin' thing I've ever seen, how's a guy supposed to feel like a man if he doesn't accidentally rip out of his shirts every once in awhile because he has to reach across a table or pick up a pen or somethin'? because I could probably stand to fill out a bit more.

Oh yeah also I guess I resolve to, uh, pass in all of my classes. I can still do that, right? A 35% is a D in physics, right? That's graded on a curve, right? I'm pretty sure it is. I was gettin' an A in Sgt. Jamjar's class - I can transfer some of those points to another class since they canceled that class, yeah?

Comments

[thewunderkind]

...you guys still used tanks in a can?

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

They're real handy in a pinch, Lash!

[thewunderkind]

Yeah but they are waaaaaaaaaay lamer compared to Neotanks in a plastic egg I invented those.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

A Neotank in a plastic egg's too expensive for just Christmas gifts between friends, Lash. Even if you're as close as Grit and me.

Tank in a can gets the job done, and is much more affordable.

[raced_god]

I graded your last quiz, you now have a 32%.

Max, I think we should resolve to get you at least a D in physics because no, I don't grade on a curve. You know you can always stay after class if you need help.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

I can still transfer some of the A's I got in Sgt. Jamjar's class though, right? It's like how on a battlefield if you have a weak spot you move some of your units from a strong place to over to the weak place. I can still do that, right, sir?

[raced_god]

...Uh...it doesn't work like that.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Are you sure about that, sir?

I mean, this school is pretty different than I remember school bein'

They might let you do somethin' like that. I've got all of these As burnin' a hole in my pocket, and I can't do anything with them. It seems a shame to let them go to waste, sir.

We learned all about trajectories by throwin' poisonous snakes at each other. That's physics, right?

[raced_god]

...Look, Max, as much as I want to give you the A, doing well in JamJar's class doesn't mean it translates to doing well in my class.

I mean, yeah, you threw...snakes at each other, but if I gave you the initial velocity of the snake and the angle it was launched would you be able to tell me the maximum height it reaches in the air?

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

The ones I threw usually went to about my eye level, so probably about 6'6"? Colin's were a little more wild, a couple of his went above my head, probably 7 and a half feet or so.

[raced_god]

Well, I mean. Figure it out exactly. With the formulas and concepts I teach in class..

I know it sucks and you'll never use it outside of my class I'm sure, but you just need to get through it and pass it and then you never have to worry about it again.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Oh.

The things that look like math but they've got letters instead of numbers.

I don't know how much a times b is, sir. Letters don't do that.

[raced_god]

I know it's really dumb. But if you want, you can stay after class and I can help you out and I promise that you'll pass.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Oh. Alright.

I guess I'll try, sir. I'm not much for givin' up.

I just. . . don't get this stuff, sir.

[powerofmoney.livejournal.com]

You know you can come over anytime you want, sir.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Colin.

What is wrong with your eyes?