#20

SO GRIT CAME BACK FROM HIS HOUSE, 'cause he was visitin' for Christmas. It's good to have my main man Grit back. He got me a tank in a can for Christmas! Man, I can think of like a hundred ways I could use that. That's real thoughtful of him.

HE ALSO GAVE COLIN A KITTEN. It's pretty cute. But it's a girl kitten. What about manly men with manly men pets? Grit I thought you knew better'n that. Looks like I gotta teach you up about bein' manly again, Grit. Don't worry, you'll thank me when we're done when you're bench pressing twice your weight and flexin' out of your shirts on a regular basis. I will not let my heart be melted by that tiny, adorable ball of fluff I AM A MAN oh god please I want one too NO I AM A MAN I WANT A MANLY PET LIKE A WILD BOAR OR SEVERAL ROTTWEILERS or a tiny kitten NO I WANT A GOAT wait is that manly or not I WANT A GOAT THAT SHOOTS FIRE OUT OF IT'S EYES AND SPITS BULLETS or a kitten NO NO NO NO NO.

I GUESS I MIGHT COME OVER AND SEE YOUR KITTEN SOMETIME, COLIN SO IT CAN LICK MY FACE SO IT CAN FALL ASLEEP NESTLED ON MY MANLY CHEST 'CAUSE MAYBE YOU NEED SOME COMPANY.

OH YEAH I GUESS SOME PEOPLE ARE MAKING RESOLUTIONS. HERE'S MINE: I resolve to get at least another two inches on my arms and another five on my chest because I can't flex out of those shirts that Colin gave me and that's the most confoundin' thing I've ever seen, how's a guy supposed to feel like a man if he doesn't accidentally rip out of his shirts every once in awhile because he has to reach across a table or pick up a pen or somethin'? because I could probably stand to fill out a bit more.

Oh yeah also I guess I resolve to, uh, pass in all of my classes. I can still do that, right? A 35% is a D in physics, right? That's graded on a curve, right? I'm pretty sure it is. I was gettin' an A in Sgt. Jamjar's class - I can transfer some of those points to another class since they canceled that class, yeah?