#54 - Max you are gross

[tank_rockarms]

So what was up with that weird creepy guy last night? He wouldn't leave me alone. I musta punched him like ten or twenty times before he stopped showing up. I mighta... blacked out a couple of times... anyway, whatever. This totally happened even though none of it has happened yet.

This place is weird.

ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANT: IT'S NOVEMBER FIRST. FOOTBALL TEAM, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN GIVING YOU AN ORDER. YOU HAVE TO STOP SHAVING. IT'S NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER. PUT YOUR RAZORS DOWN AND WALK AWAY. JUST WALK AWAY.

It's only 10am but I've already got my 5 o'clock shadow on. I usually have to shave three times a day

Any other guys who ain't on the football team are welcome to not shave along with us. We'll see who has the best beard at the end of the month. If you already got facial hair, grow more facial hair.

No cheatin' with science this year. I don't care if you can brew a beard in a bottle or make some sorta beard-ray or whatever, grow your beard the regular way. I'll know if you're cheatin'.

I still haven't made up my mind yet if I'm not going to wax this month, like I did last year.

Comments

[punchvolcanoes]

I'm only good at things I work hard at. I doubt anyone would weep seeing a Charizard hit a football, Sparks.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, cryin' for one of the other chucklefucks to do it for you, then wavin' the teamwork flag around and pattin' yourself on the ass? That ain't hard work.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Excuse me.

What the hell are you two gettin' into in the middle of my journal thing? I don't care if the two of you used to date and now hate each other or whatever the hell it is, but I'm football team captain and I'll be damned if I'm gonna have to deal with this shit every time we got practice.

I can't keep nobody from joinin' the team. I put up with Flak. I hate that guy more than I hate anybody other than Kindle and Von Bolt. I put up with his shit. The two of you can put up with whatever the hell is goin' on between the two of you.

[punchvolcanoes]

We never dated ewwwwwww, we're rivals. It's completely different.

Sorry for arguing.

Who's Flak and Kindle and Von Bolt? Are they teachers here?

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

I sure as hell ain't sorry.

Don't expect me to like this, Max. There ain't no goddamn way I'm lettin' myself get benched by ol' Wal-Mart Bargain Bin here.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Kindle, Von Bolt and Flak are all COs who attacked other countries and royally screwed over entire continents, and I had to go in after them and knock 'em around and clean up their shit.

Char, I don't care if you hate it, suck it up when you're on the field.

And you ain't gonna get benched just 'cause we could get a new player; we ain't got enough players that I'd bench you.

You give me or Captain Falcon a shitty attitude about teammates, though, and that'll get you benched. Same goes for Sasha. I'll have the both of you doin' so many pushups you won't have time to think about bitchin' about it.

[punchvolcanoes]

I love doing pushups as a human!

[punchvolcanoes]

I mean uh...alright. You got it Max.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

What difference do it make whether you're human or not?

[punchvolcanoes]

Smaller arms and a longer neck in Charizard form.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Ain't that much smaller. My arms are plenty long.

Maybe you just got T-rex arms.

[punchvolcanoes]

Hey! My arms are not that tiny!

..anyway.