#54 - Max you are gross

[tank_rockarms]

So what was up with that weird creepy guy last night? He wouldn't leave me alone. I musta punched him like ten or twenty times before he stopped showing up. I mighta... blacked out a couple of times... anyway, whatever. This totally happened even though none of it has happened yet.

This place is weird.

ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANT: IT'S NOVEMBER FIRST. FOOTBALL TEAM, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN GIVING YOU AN ORDER. YOU HAVE TO STOP SHAVING. IT'S NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER. PUT YOUR RAZORS DOWN AND WALK AWAY. JUST WALK AWAY.

It's only 10am but I've already got my 5 o'clock shadow on. I usually have to shave three times a day

Any other guys who ain't on the football team are welcome to not shave along with us. We'll see who has the best beard at the end of the month. If you already got facial hair, grow more facial hair.

No cheatin' with science this year. I don't care if you can brew a beard in a bottle or make some sorta beard-ray or whatever, grow your beard the regular way. I'll know if you're cheatin'.

I still haven't made up my mind yet if I'm not going to wax this month, like I did last year.

Comments

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Tough shit. I been on the team just as long as he has, and I say hell no. Don't you got any hobbies that ain't all about this stupid one-up bullshit?

[punchvolcanoes]

One-up bullshit? I'm just joining this because Max is in it. Joining a football team is hardly trying to stand you up. I thought it was a team sport.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Don't even give me that. I'm fuckin' tired of you people spewin' that "oh, it ain't got nothin' to do with you guys" line every time you go and ruin somethin' for us! I'd rather gargle a goddamn Grimer than be on the same team as you!

[punchvolcanoes]

I'm not ruining anyone's happy funtimes. I want to play football. If you want to start gargling Grimers, that's your choice, I won't stop you.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

This is exactly what I'm talkin' about! Of course you ain't doin' no wrong. You people never do anythin' wrong, do you?

Look, it ain't workin' this time. I been ownin' this goddamn place for two years. I got friends here, and they ain't gonna be fooled by your sparkly black ass. You ain't nothin' but a poor man's Char! A third-world dollar store knockoff!

[punchvolcanoes]

Why do you have to be such an a--
Seriously you don't have to prove anything-
aethaethyrj

A so-called knockoff whose entire team went off to beat you and the Green Team into a solid pulp to become the new Champions.

I already told you I'm not here to take your friends away from you. I'd put more trust in those friends to pick me over you than you give them credit for.

Stop being a jackass you're reminding me of Vinnie. then again, that might be asking too much of you.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Just keep talkin' about the shit you already took away from us. That's totally gonna help your case, Charitard.

Seriously. Fuck off and go take up golf, or some other shit that I ain't already done better.

[punchvolcanoes]

Like you're being mature about this!

I'm going to play football. I don't care what you think.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

The hell are you talkin' about, mature? A real Charizard gives a shit when somebody's stampin' in on their shit.

You're gonna play football if you make it on the team, dumbass. Maybe Red's almighty Pokemon can do whatever the hell they want back home, but if you're so set on ruinin' things here, you gotta earn it same as everyone else.

[punchvolcanoes]

I don't care what you think.

I'll make it on the team! Just you watch. I'll train every day if I have too.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

And that's why you ain't a real Charizard.

Who are you kiddin', Charitard? You'll get bored of havin' to actually work at somethin' and quit in a week, same as your merry little band of fuckwads did when you were Champ.

[punchvolcanoes]

More like you're afraid I'll get really good at it.

You know how it is, Sparks, I work best with competition, and you happen to be a really good motivator, for better or worse. I'll work in the strongest blizzard if that's what it takes. I didn't mind doing it in the mountaintops, what's a little more snow going to do?

How did you get that 'work' word to tilt, that's pretty neat.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Right. You're gonna be totally awesome at it, because everyone knows Sasha's good at everythin'. People are gonna fall down weepin' in awe at the very sight of you kickin' a football.

...Your egg musta been dropped a couple times.

[punchvolcanoes]

I'm only good at things I work hard at. I doubt anyone would weep seeing a Charizard hit a football, Sparks.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, cryin' for one of the other chucklefucks to do it for you, then wavin' the teamwork flag around and pattin' yourself on the ass? That ain't hard work.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Excuse me.

What the hell are you two gettin' into in the middle of my journal thing? I don't care if the two of you used to date and now hate each other or whatever the hell it is, but I'm football team captain and I'll be damned if I'm gonna have to deal with this shit every time we got practice.

I can't keep nobody from joinin' the team. I put up with Flak. I hate that guy more than I hate anybody other than Kindle and Von Bolt. I put up with his shit. The two of you can put up with whatever the hell is goin' on between the two of you.

[punchvolcanoes]

We never dated ewwwwwww, we're rivals. It's completely different.

Sorry for arguing.

Who's Flak and Kindle and Von Bolt? Are they teachers here?

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

I sure as hell ain't sorry.

Don't expect me to like this, Max. There ain't no goddamn way I'm lettin' myself get benched by ol' Wal-Mart Bargain Bin here.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Kindle, Von Bolt and Flak are all COs who attacked other countries and royally screwed over entire continents, and I had to go in after them and knock 'em around and clean up their shit.

Char, I don't care if you hate it, suck it up when you're on the field.

And you ain't gonna get benched just 'cause we could get a new player; we ain't got enough players that I'd bench you.

You give me or Captain Falcon a shitty attitude about teammates, though, and that'll get you benched. Same goes for Sasha. I'll have the both of you doin' so many pushups you won't have time to think about bitchin' about it.

[punchvolcanoes]

I love doing pushups as a human!

[punchvolcanoes]

I mean uh...alright. You got it Max.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

What difference do it make whether you're human or not?

[punchvolcanoes]

Smaller arms and a longer neck in Charizard form.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Ain't that much smaller. My arms are plenty long.

Maybe you just got T-rex arms.

[punchvolcanoes]

Hey! My arms are not that tiny!

..anyway.