#54 - Max you are gross

[tank_rockarms]

So what was up with that weird creepy guy last night? He wouldn't leave me alone. I musta punched him like ten or twenty times before he stopped showing up. I mighta... blacked out a couple of times... anyway, whatever. This totally happened even though none of it has happened yet.

This place is weird.

ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANT: IT'S NOVEMBER FIRST. FOOTBALL TEAM, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN GIVING YOU AN ORDER. YOU HAVE TO STOP SHAVING. IT'S NO-SHAVE NOVEMBER. PUT YOUR RAZORS DOWN AND WALK AWAY. JUST WALK AWAY.

It's only 10am but I've already got my 5 o'clock shadow on. I usually have to shave three times a day

Any other guys who ain't on the football team are welcome to not shave along with us. We'll see who has the best beard at the end of the month. If you already got facial hair, grow more facial hair.

No cheatin' with science this year. I don't care if you can brew a beard in a bottle or make some sorta beard-ray or whatever, grow your beard the regular way. I'll know if you're cheatin'.

I still haven't made up my mind yet if I'm not going to wax this month, like I did last year.

Comments

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Right. You're gonna be totally awesome at it, because everyone knows Sasha's good at everythin'. People are gonna fall down weepin' in awe at the very sight of you kickin' a football.

...Your egg musta been dropped a couple times.

[4x4-of-manly.livejournal.com]

I think for everyone's sae you should stick to just the beard this year. I'll be doing it too!

...I don't know what was up with that green guy. He showed up and my 4x4 caught fire.

[punchvolcanoes]

I'm only good at things I work hard at. I doubt anyone would weep seeing a Charizard hit a football, Sparks.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah, cryin' for one of the other chucklefucks to do it for you, then wavin' the teamwork flag around and pattin' yourself on the ass? That ain't hard work.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Excuse me.

What the hell are you two gettin' into in the middle of my journal thing? I don't care if the two of you used to date and now hate each other or whatever the hell it is, but I'm football team captain and I'll be damned if I'm gonna have to deal with this shit every time we got practice.

I can't keep nobody from joinin' the team. I put up with Flak. I hate that guy more than I hate anybody other than Kindle and Von Bolt. I put up with his shit. The two of you can put up with whatever the hell is goin' on between the two of you.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Good for you. We'll see who's got the better beard at the end of the month.

How do you want me to one-up you this year?

[punchvolcanoes]

We never dated ewwwwwww, we're rivals. It's completely different.

Sorry for arguing.

Who's Flak and Kindle and Von Bolt? Are they teachers here?

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Since you had that instant puberty you can probably grow a beard a lot better than you could last year.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

You can trim your beard to make it look nice if you want to.

[rockinthrutime.livejournal.com]

I can't wait to start mine!

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Yeah that was cheatin' Just so you know.

Whatever is on your face at the end of the month needs to come there on its own.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but last year somebody made a beard-growin' raygun thing.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

I know it was cheating. That's why I said it was a hair ray cheat.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Yeah, alright, but you're a day behind. You're gonna have to grow extra hard to make it up.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

It's tradition, we do it every November.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Let's hope this year is better than last year.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Yeah well that's what we're doin' so there we go.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Good, see you at the end of the month with the facial hair of your choice.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Yeah that guy was weird.

Do you ever shave?

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Ain't you a girl?

[raced_god]

It doesn't have to be a competition.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

I sure as hell ain't sorry.

Don't expect me to like this, Max. There ain't no goddamn way I'm lettin' myself get benched by ol' Wal-Mart Bargain Bin here.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

You said that last year, too.

[blazinglizard.livejournal.com]

That's dumb as hell. If I had a raygun, I'd get one that turned people I didn't like into pizzas, not one that gives 'em beards.

[tank-rockarms.livejournal.com]

Oh. Right. Yeah.

Still cheatin'.