tank_rockarms

Hey, it's almost time for football season to start up. Captain Falcon, sir, when does practice start? Shouldn't we have been practicin' since like August 1st? Or like July? Sir? If we wanna win again, we need to be in top shape.

And speakin' of football, we're gonna need some more people on the line. We lost Big and we lost 'Cane and we probably lost some others, too. I'm lookin' for big, beefy types. Muscular or chubby. Don't worry if you're fat, I'll turn you into a god of muscle and sinew, promise. You may still have a tummy, though. But you'll have really great arms and pecs and quads, promise. Blastoise, you need to tell everybody how good I work with you on your pecs and your arms.

Knuckles mentioned somebody named Bowser Junior who might be good for the team? Said you were a tank on legs? That's right up my alley. Whoever you are, if you want to play football I'll teach you whatever you need to know.

And we lost the quarterback from last year, he's teachin' sex ed now. I don't think he can play anymore. So we need a quarterback, too. So if you can throw you need to come to practice, too.

Also we can use skinny types to run the ball and stuff. Or girls. We take girls, too, not just guys. I don't think we got any beefy girls, really. But you can run the ball and stuff.

~~We've been practicing in spirit, okay.~~

Labor Day weekend, but it sounds like you've been ready for a while now.

You know, now that Ganondorf's moved up, I'm going to need a new captain.

Man - I am so excited for this season!

I got my buddy Tails to try out. He's the guy that can fly and stuff and he's real fast on his feet. We'll work together on beefing him up some.

Man, comin' up that quickly already? Crap, I better get workin' on gettin' my speed back up. Ain't been runnin' nearly as much as I'd like.

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