Roll Out!

Hey, it's almost time for football season to start up. Captain Falcon, sir, when does practice start? Shouldn't we have been practicin' since like August 1st? Or like July? Sir? If we wanna win again, we need to be in top shape.

And speakin' of football, we're gonna need some more people on the line. We lost Big and we lost 'Cane and we probably lost some others, too. I'm lookin' for big, beefy types. Muscular or chubby. Don't worry if you're fat, I'll turn you into a god of muscle and sinew, promise. You may still have a tummy, though. But you'll have really great arms and pecs and quads, promise. Blastoise, you need to tell everybody how good I work with you on your pecs and your arms.

Knuckles mentioned somebody named Bowser Junior who might be good for the team? Said you were a tank on legs? That's right up my alley. Whoever you are, if you want to play football I'll teach you whatever you need to know.

And we lost the quarterback from last year, he's teachin' sex ed now. I don't think he can play anymore. So we need a quarterback, too. So if you can throw you need to come to practice, too.

Also we can use skinny types to run the ball and stuff. Or girls. We take girls, too, not just guys. I don't think we got any beefy girls, really. But you can run the ball and stuff.

I'm headin' back to Orange Star for awhile, my troops are gettin' flabby and out of shape, so I gotta get back and beef them up some. A month of bicep curls and b-copters and the bench press and situps and tank drivin', it'll be great.

Arcanine, I'll have Andy help me work on the physics project while I'm gone, don't worry.

Knuckles, Blastoise, you guys look after the weight room. Sorry I'm leavin' when a lot of people are still kids, but if I want to get a good solid month of trainin' in before the end of summer I gotta head out now. I'll be back before the fall term starts, don't worry.

I'll bring back a six-pack of Orange Star Soda for everybody when I come back, promise.

FLAK I'M GONNA SLUG YOU EXTRA GOOD, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

I HAD TO PUNCH A BUNCH OF WEIGHTS WITH THAT FUNNY BRASS KNUCKLE THING SO I COULD LIFT THEM, NOW HALF THE STUFF IN THE WEIGHT ROOM LOOKS LIKE I DO AND NOBODY ELSE BUT ME CAN USE IT AND IT'S YOUR FAULT.

AND WHOEVER IT WAS WHO WAS WATCHIN' TV WHEN WE BROKE YOUR WALL, IT WAS FLAK WHO DID IT, NOT ME.

OKAY MAYBE I MADE SOME OF THE COINS COME OUTTA IT BUT I DIDN'T HIT IT THE FIRST TIME.

FLAK I'M GONNA SLUG YOU SO HARD.

There is a big box left outside of Snake's office. There is also, very strangely, a slowpoke sitting next to the box. It stares blankly, unblinking, as if it had been tasked with guarding said box.

On the outside there is a note.



On the inside there is another note, along with a repaired robot.
( This inside note reads like this: )
And every two to three hours, the muffled sounds of some techno rave song come spilling out of the box and into the hallway.

That cruise was pretty fun! I had a real good time with my friends, I spent a lot of time with my friend Max. We lifted weights and I went swimming and I think I fell asleep in the sun, haha.

Bulba, Max told me that you need to listen to him when he tells you to do things, you should probably listen to Max 'cause he's a good guy to listen to for advice. So listen to Max, okay? Also Max says he's sorry for that last part, I have no idea what he's talking about I'm just relaying the message for him, he asked me to tell you.

Hey Green, I was wondering when our next practice was. I think being out in all of that sun addled my brain, I can't remember when the next one is. Haha, yeah.

I think I'm gonna go down to the weightroom to see how things are! I know Max does like 4 or 5 hours of lifting each day - I might try that out myself!

Oh God, I can't do this.

I got back in late last night. Didn't think anybody'd be up but I met that ghost guy, Doo-Liss, and he challenged me to an arm wrestlin' contest. I took him up on that, even though I was tired and I had pine needles in my hair and probably down my shorts, too. I'm always up for a challenge, right? ((OUTCOME OF SAID MATCH UP TBD))

Thought I'd only be gone for like a week, but it turned into two and a half. Sorry if anybody was worried or anything.

Sorry I woke you up last night when I bumped into the desk a couple times, Grit. But it was good to see you, too. Sorry I made a mess of stuff, and that I smelled like pine needles and sweat and mud and I didn't tell you when I'd be back for sure.

I spent the last two weeks out in the woods, roughin' it. You know, swimmin' in streams and catchin' fish with your bare hands for breakfast and sleepin' on rocks with a lean-to made outta pine branches and seein' how many heavy boulders I can lift and run up hills with and stuff. Got some good work done on my lats that way. The calves, too.

Hey, Bulba, Blastoise, if you guys have got Slowpoke I can probably take him back now.

I'm still feelin' out of it. But I can't solve my problems with runnin' away, that ain't me.

So, anything happen while I was gone or did you guys just sit around and do nothin' while I was out? Andy, Jake, you guys up to anything while I was gone?

It feels good to save the world again. I ain't done that for like a year and a half or somethin'. It had it's ups and downs but the last three weeks really made me feel alive, most of the time.

ANDY, you don't ever be some sorta robot-clone-thing again okay? I ain't gonna put up with that another time, you hear me? You keep safe, Andy. Also, Andy, I'm glad to have you at my side. GRIT, I, I ain't got words and you know how I feel. NELL, I, you know I still, you know. BLASTOISE, CHAR, BULBA, uh. . . GREEN, and uh. . . FLOATY PURPLE GIRL dangit what is her name uh. . . CHAR'S GIRLFRIEND uh. . . yeah. . . nobody told me pokemon battles were so much fun! We should do that again. My favorite part was where I picked the Onix up and threw it at Giovanni. PARAKARRY, GLASSES GUY, ICE-BIRD GIRL (dangit I'm no good with names) I'm glad we could beat up some musical instruments together. COLIN, thanks for comin' back with Nell and helpin' out and doin' your best. I appreciate all of the help and money you gave us -- Neotanks -- I love you, Col. And, uh, HEDGEHOG LADY I'm glad I could protect you and uh. . . BLUE PIG GUY thanks for helpin' me with the hedgehog lady. And Olaf and Lash and Sami and everybody else. . . Just. . . EVERYBODY, thanks. We did it 'cause we worked together and we hit 'em hard and beat the crap outta 'em. Together.

I am the hungriest guy ever I've been eatin' almost nothin' but protein bars and supplements for three weeks. I need some real food. But, uh, this place has sorta. . . not got any of that, really. Gotta lot of Orange Star C-rations, I guess. But I sorta ate those things for like 4 years whenever I went out on a mission before I got promoted. Not much to them. I need somethin' more than that.

HEY CAPTAIN FALCON, SIR, didn't I make a bet with you like three weeks ago about you gettin' me a bucket of chicken when I won this thing for you? I want like three now. One for each week. And more mashed potatoes and gravy than you can stick on a plate.

( Drunken ramblings. The cut is OOC, it's here just to keep your screens clean. )

((OOC NOTE: Slowpoke hit 'send' for Max. Several hours after he typed this up. And inserted the LJ-CUT tags Also, Nikki - HEY WANNA TIE THIS INTO A MAX AND GRIT GET DRUNK TOGETHER AFTER THE GAME THREAD? HUH? :D :D :D ))

I woke up this mornin' with Slowpoke's tail in my mouth. . . for some reason.

It tasted... kinda sweet? I don't... this is confusin'

Last thing I remember is some sorta nice music playin' and then I woke up with his tail in my mouth. . .

Also, what's Char's firefightin' hat doin' on Slowpoke's bed?