tank_rockarms

My name's Maximilian Justice Powers, and I'm comin' clean. Don't think anybody here even knows my full name.

My dad died when I was 12 in a border skirmish with Blue Moon. My mom washed laundry for a living to support me and her. I was a crummy kid after my dad died, and I never did what my mom told me to do. I got into the wrong sorta people at school. I'm sorry I did that now, and I don't think I ever told her after I grew up. Army straightened me out when I was 16.

When I was 15 I used anabolic steroids for about a year, maybe a year and a half. I was a big, angry kid, they made me bigger and angrier. When I got into the army I had to get clean. Been clean ever since. But I always tell people I'm all natural. I am. But I wasn't always.

Killed three men when I was 17. I learned to stop countin' after that. But I'm probably directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of hundreds of army men. I'll tell you it was for a good cause, that it was done in the defense of the people of Macroland and Omegaland. But I ain't gonna lie and tell you I ain't killed before. 'Cause I have.

My best friend Grit and I were in love with the same woman, Nell. She's now my boss. And she's married to my best friend. When she asked me if I was okay with her marryin' my best friend I lied and told her I was. I wasn't. When Grit asked me to be his best man I said I was happy for him. I wasn't. I sat there and I cried as I hugged him and told him I was happy for him when I wasn't. I think he knew, though. We both pretended it we both didn't know, though. Sometimes its hard to go back home and see them together.

One time for a week I was Green's Blastoise and another time for a week I was Bulba. If at some time you ever thought one of them was actin' weird for a week, it was probably 'cause we'd switched bodies. I guess that happens a lot here. But I didn't tell nobody when it happened to me.

If I ever told you somethin' that wasn't true, I'm sorry. If you want to ask me somethin' about me, now's your chance.

[Private level 1 to Green]
We need to talk. You know why.
[/Private to Green]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's 50 physics problems in this stupid homework packet. It takes me half an hour just to do one of 'em.

::And then they were at a tank it was amazing.::

Get in.

Which ones are you having the most problems with? Or... is it just all of them in general? ~~Sadly the person beyond the fourth wall is even worse than Max.~~

[Awwww yeah the tank. He's in!]

All of them. You know me and school.

::Vroom vroom here we go drivin' down the road beep beep::

Ahh. If you want me to check the ones you already did later, I wouldn't mind.

[Aww yeah drivin in the tank this is always so cool honk honk.]

Yeah, that'd probably be good. Thanks.

::BEEP. BEEP.::

No problem.

[HONK HONK HONK.

Are we there yet.]

::BREAKING NOISE

You are there::

Alright, let's get in and get somethin' to eat.

::The man at the counter remembers Max. He begins silently weeping to himself as he rings them up for not nearly enough money to cover whatever it is that Max is eating::

::Max goes and gets like five plates worth of food to begin with and drinks to accompany. Huh. Doesn't this seem. Familiar.::

[Yeah this is. A pretty familiar scenario. Bulba pays too much for his small portion. He cranes his neck around the establishment, seeing if perhaps he recognizes any of the people that had been their a year ago. Oh boy.

Bulba has acquired two small salads of leafy and fruity varieties. He also has a glass of apple juice. He was actually sorta hungry today.]

You should drink some milk, it's good for you. I don't know how you get enough calcium in your diet.

::A million bites::

::A million dead animals::

So, uh. What. Happened.

A lot of juices have calcium too.

[THOUGH MAYBE HE SHOULD. TRY IT.]

I'll try it though.

[Yeah hold that thought. Alright he's back with a glass of milk and is greeted to the sight of a million dead animals. AKA no more animals. Because they are dead.

He will thoughtfully chew on a piece of cantaloupe before answering. The trick here is to be completely nonchalant about this.]

Uh. I kind of pulled a petal out. [Pause.] ... That's not really accurate. I sort of more ripped part of one off more than pulled it out all the way.

::Whatever Max is eating is now being coughed out, God willing, on his own plate and not across the table::

YOU WHAT.

::Oh there's that indoors voice again.::

See, that's why we're not on campus right now.

[There is now a bit of Max food on his more leafy salad. Not a lot. BUT IT IS THERE.]

But exactly what I said.

WHY.

[Sigh.]

It felt like something I had to do is all.

And why the heck was that somethin' you had to do?

Mn... [He's pushing around a strawberry on his plate.]

I thought it was more of an apology to someone that didn't exist anymore when I did it but... That was really only a little bit of it.

[How to put this...]

You said telling me was like letting me know there was a bullet in my shoulder, right? Pretend that petal was the bullet. All I did was get rid of it so things could start to get better again.

You ain't the bullet, though. That'd be like... oh my god that'd be like me cuttin' off one of my balls, wouldn't it be?

::Max looks horrified. Horrified.::